


Cooking with Wolves

by allthebees (jamtomorrowandjamyesterday)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek and Kira are the only ones who can actually cook, Multi, Scott and Stiles want to make a YouTube cooking show, it goes about as well as can be expected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-14 00:57:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1246699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamtomorrowandjamyesterday/pseuds/allthebees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hi! I’m Stiles and this is my buddy Scott and we’re going to be your hosts this evening on Cooking with Wolves!” Stiles grins at the camera and Scott beams before running back to the other side of the tripod. “Seeing as this is our pilot episode, I’ll introduce you to the other stars. As the actual chefs we have the wonderful Kira,” Kira waves and smiles from the other side of the kitchen as Scott turns the camera lens towards her. “And the grumpy Derek! Say hi to the viewers, Derek.”</p><p>Scott turns the camera on Derek and Derek doesn’t smile. His eyebrows promise murder. “We’ll work on that later,” Stiles says hurriedly and Scott turns the camera away from Derek quickly. “Get over here, Scotty, so we can talk about what we’re going to be making today!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooking with Wolves

**Author's Note:**

> Uh so this accidentally happened because April wanted a oneshot that included: spoons, "but i like that part", green tape, sunglasses, blackberries, and a card game.
> 
> I'm kind of sorry for this but mostly not at all.

**_PILOT EPISODE_**  
  
  
“I’m not sure we’re ever going to eat,” Melissa says as she sits down on the sofa and hands John a beer. “There’s a deck of cards and a camera involved and our sons are wearing bright green sunglasses inside. Stiles tried to make me sign a non-disclosure agreement. They have a script, John, and a _menu_.”  
  
John cranes his neck to see into the kitchen where Derek and Kira are shoulder to shoulder at the counters while Scott and Stiles mess around with a video camera and tripod. He clinks their bottles together when he settles back against the cushions and takes a long swallow. “Remind me again why we thought this was a good idea?” he asks with a sideways glance.  
  
“Bonding experience?” Melissa says with a shrug. “Encouraging their creative expression? I just came for the free food. I’m pretty sure you’re the one who gave them the go ahead.”  
  
“Only because someone promised me steak!” John raises his voice hopefully and Melissa laughs into her beer.  
  
“Don’t distract us!” Stiles shouts back and there’s an electronic beeping sound. “And you’re _so_ mistaken if you think there aren’t going to be vegetables as well. Dammit, Scott, where’s the clapperboard?”  
  
“On top of the fridge.” Scott’s voice is worryingly muffled. “With the extra sunglasses.”  
  
“Got it.” Stiles sounds far too triumphant for such a simple task and John begins to rethink letting either of them in the kitchen. “Okay, Kira, you ready for your potato close-up?”  
  
“Do you think we might have overestimated the chances of this ending well?” he asks Melissa and presses the power button on the remote to turn the television on. “You and Kira okay in there, Derek?”  
  
“We aren’t letting them near the food, Sheriff!” Kira calls cheerfully after a moment. “Don’t worry! Just let me finish this one and then you can film it. ”  
  
There’s an obnoxiously loud smacking sound, a disgusted huff from Scott, and then Stiles says “We’re creative directors, Dad, and what we lack in practical skills we make up for in _vision_.”  
  
John snorts with laughter and they both hear the wordless, exasperated rumble that Derek makes in response. “Was that a kiss on the cheek or a raspberry?” Melissa asks. “It sounded slobbery.”  
  
“Watch your game!” Scott shouts. “We’re doing just fine. Danny says he can edit stuff out, right?”  
  
“Just fine? Is that what you’re calling this?” Derek sounds thoroughly unimpressed. “Stiles, get your fingers out of those blackberries before I teach Kira how to _break_ them.”  
  
“Kira wouldn’t,” Stiles says but they hear the clatter of footsteps retreating anyway. “Is your objection to the use of fingers or can I use a spoon?”  
  
John turns the volume down and shares a grin with Melissa. The bickering is more interesting than the game. “Do you think we’re going to need to break this up?”  
  
“Scott.” Derek sounds desperate. “Can’t you distract him with a game of Go Fish or something? Kira, those need to go in water until they’re ready to cook.”  
  
“Just go sit over there and play Snap until everything’s prepared, Stiles,” Kira says. “All we have left to do is the crosshatching on the pie. Scott can film that bit. Danny’ll piece everything together in editing.”  
  
“But I _like_ that part.” Stiles’ pout is actually audible and John rolls his eyes at Melissa who grins.  
  
“Oh crap, I forgot! You two need to put your sunglasses on. Stiles sat on them but we found some green tape and you can hardly tell. Here,” Scott says. “These are yours, Kira. Do you want me to put them on you so you don’t have to wash your hands again?”  
  
There’s an odd yelping sound after a moment of silence and John and Melissa shoot to their feet in alarm.  
  
“Okay, apparently I can’t put Derek’s on for him,” Stiles says frantically. “He’s making the murderface, Scott, you’re gonna have to do it.” They hear an ominous clattering sound, like someone has dropped a knife, and their eyes widen in sync. “Go forth with the sunglasses because I am in mortal peril right now. Oh Jesus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to jab you in the eye. Okay, apology doesn’t appear to be accepted? Shit, Dad, get the gun oh my _go_ -”  
  
There’s a sudden crash and Kira shrieks. Scott yelps a split second later as well and then Stiles is swearing breathlessly and flying through the doorway and towards the stairs. Derek is a blur, right on his heels, and Stiles is screeching “ _Deeeeeeeerek_!” as he goes.  
  
Melissa bursts into laughter and John rubs his eyes, shaking his head, before glancing upwards where Stiles is still screaming for mercy. “Am I still going to get my steak?” he shouts. “You promised!”


End file.
